No Shave November

I briefly toyed with the notion of giving Nanowrimo a try, but decided that I have a better chance at No Shave November.

Novembeard.

Why did I think that only women with swarthy complexions suffered with facial hair when they got old?  Probably because I thought there should be some justice in the world, and they got the facial hair so the wrinkly old pale women would have less to envy.

Once again, I have learned there is no fairness when it comes to the female body.

I also learned that “old” is actually “not young,” meaning that at age 45, I am fighting off a beard one whisker at a time.  To add insult to injury, they are red, like my hair used to be.

As you might have noticed in the portrait above, my eyebrows are slightly less bushy, which is good because they can no longer hide behind the big glasses that were in fashion for the last couple decades of the 20th century.  (I never did learn to/bother to tweeze them into shape.)  I did not draw the crazy old man eyebrow hairs (again – why did I think only men got those crazy eyebrow hairs?) because I only have two of them, both in the same brow.

I have downy blonde hairs which, were I of olive skin and glossy dark hair, would probably already be a mustache, but here my lack of pigmentation is, for a change, working for me not against me.  I’m choosing to ignore them because they are only noticeable if you are inches from my face.  Unless my husband is lying.  I drew them on anyway.

The chin whiskers, I cannot ignore them.  They drive me crazy whenever I touch them.  (Yes, I can feel them before I see them.  I’m weirdly tactile and have bad eyesight.)  Usually, I notice them when I’m in the car, the only time my hands are not typing, knitting, holding a book, or otherwise occupied.  Once I notice one, I have to pull it out immediately, attempting to grip them with my bare hands.

This drives my husband a bit crazy…I think it is because I look like a loon, obsessively plucking at my chin trying to create a vise with my fingernails to pluck that one invisible whisker.  I’m sure it is not at all attractive, but once I feel a prickly little stub, I cannot stop until it is out.  I have considered keeping tweezers in the glove compartment, and if more than three of you tell me that is a brilliant idea, I’m going to view that as a voter mandate and buy a pair for each vehicle.  Or not, as I’m not sure I could visually locate anything without a magnifying mirror, and that seems too crazy, even for me.

To participate in Novembeard, I’d have to stay out of the car for the entire month.  So I’m out.

For men,  No Shave November, it is a great reason to forgo shaving to raise money for St. Jude’s Children’s Hospitals.  It sounds rather fun, and takes a $30 donation to enter.  They shave tomorrow, the 1st of November, then no shaving until Dec. 1.  If your husband or son or brother or friend or co-worker is participating, you can also make them shave for a donation of $30, if you don’t like bearded men.  Or bid against others to prevent the shaving they desire.  Before and after photos are posted online.

Do you know anyone who is participating?  If your husband did, would you bid to have him shave, or to prevent him from shaving?

(I am not affiliated in any way with St. Jude’s.  I just like people who help sick children get better.)

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9 thoughts on “No Shave November

  1. When you were describing yourself in the car trying to pull out hairs with your bare hands, I laughed because I have done this often myself, only I am the one driving. I just go crazy when I feel one. What I have done is, I bought a bottle of nair hair removal. I use it on a day when I am not going anywhere the next day. I smooth it over my chin hair bunches and my mustache spots and leave it on a few minutes. It gets most of them. You have to be careful however or you will be going out the next time with a burned lip or chin because it is harsh. It takes most of them off for a little while anyway.
    When you were talking about no beard november, it reminded me of back when I was married to my ex husband years ago. He was the leader of the drama department in our church. So, every time we did a drama with a Jesus in it, He was it. He seemed to fit the look. So, he would have to grow out this big bushy beard. I hated it. So, the night after the play had ended, he would finally shave. I must say those nights I was pretty friskie lol

    • The nair burns sound riskier than a couple stray whiskers, so I will hold off on that as long as I can. That is funny about your ex-husband. Did he have long brown, wavy hair? That’s what I think of as Jesus hair.

  2. my ex had long kind of wavy brown hair and those “tender” brown eyes. But believe me, he was no Jesus lol. But my facial hair is so course and thick at this point that even the nair won’t get all of it. It is fine if you know when to take it back off.

  3. LOL, I have polycystic ovary syndrome and would totally look like Captain Jack Sparrow if I didn’t pluck and wax for a month:) Love this idea! For men, not for me–I’ll leave Captain Jack to Johnny Depp.

  4. Oh my goodness! As I was reading, I would chuckle and then stop myself, thinking, wait! That’s going to be me in 15 years, maybe. I do have olive *tones* in my skin, but I’ve learned from pregnancy that hormones can do crazy things to our bodies. I LOVED the two self portraits. Hilarious! My husband can grow facial hair within 12 hours of shaving. If he were to participate in No Shave November, I would want him to grow it out. He looks great with a full, thick beard.

    • Hayley, hormones are indeed powerful things. I think pregnancy is just a glimpse of the crazy to come. I’m glad you liked my portraits; I worked really hard to get the hair just right.

  5. The reason Wookie has a beard is he can grow a full one in a week or so…

    I hear you on the hair and it driving me nuts. Love the luma pro tweezers Wookie bought me (not the regular white round ones that get horrible reviews on Amazon) and I’ve thought more than once about having a pair in the car 🙂

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