I wish Disney had bought Lucasfilm years ago.

Say what you will, but Disney knows women.

If this had happened earlier, we would have all been spared the Anakin-Amadala romance.

Because, seriously, if Padme’ had been a Disney princess, she’d have realized he was evil-crazy when he killed all those Sand People.  She’d have married Obi-Wan instead.

Of course, earlier than that, people would have realized that the Jedi system was Doomed to Fail because taking babies away from their families and forbidding them to ever have a family of their own is Just Plain Wrong.

That makes the Jedi the witch in Rapunzel.

Disney would have been better with continuity, too.

Padme’ giving up the will to live while still on the delivery room table?  A Disney Princess does not give up the will to live because her man has gone wrong.  Well, she wouldn’t have chosen the wrong man to begin with, but, had she, she would not have wimped out at motherhood.

Think of Dumbo’s mom.  Did she give up without a fight?  No.

Aurora’s parents were willing to spend sixteen years away from their daughter to save her from Maleficent, but they didn’t die of unhappiness.  They waited.  Ariel’s dad, king of the merpeople, was willing to risk everything for his wayward child.

In a Disney film, if you want a parent out of the picture, you have to murder them outright, like Mufasa or Bambi’s mom, because Disney knows that parents do not give up.

So Padme’ would have kept on fighting the Empire, and died a violent death, allowing Leia to remember her like she said she did in Return of the Jedi.

I am sorry to say, however, that if Disney had taken over earlier, Jar-Jar Binks would have had a larger role in those last couple movies.  It’s a trade-off.  Choose your evil.

I’ll suffer with annoying talking animals for a romantic, but strong female lead.  Like Mulan.

Geek rant over.

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9 thoughts on “I wish Disney had bought Lucasfilm years ago.

  1. Absolutely brilliant take on things. I totally, whole-heartedly agree. Even when Disney makes the parents “wrong” in the eyes of the child, learning a lesson from the child (Nemo, anyone?) they still do show the truth: Parents Never Give Up.

    Can you tell that you hit on my single biggest gripe of the prequels??? My poor husband has listened to many a rant about Padme giving up and Leia remembering…what? the glimpse of a somewhat attractive mom-corpse???? sheesh.

    Hopeful to see what Disney does with SW, as long as they don’t mess with whatever deal Lucas had with Lego. I can’t imagine giving up SW Lego, or paying even more than we already do for them.

  2. I feel woefully unqualified to comment here as I believe I’m one of the only three people in the entire world who has not watched enough Star Wars to know who’s who in the Empire, but I do know Disney. And I love Dumbo’s mom. And I love this: “In a Disney film, if you want a parent out of the picture, you have to murder them outright, like Mufasa or Bambi’s mom, because Disney knows that parents do not give up.” Exactly.
    (Now I’ll go hang my head in shame for being such a loser when it comes to Pop Culture…at least of the Star Wars sort.)

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